News comes in today that Middlesex and England legend Fred Titmus has passed away at the age of 78. Nobody seems to have a bad word about him and he will live on forever thanks to Half Man Half Biscuit:
Don't click the video if you're offended by the words 'fucking' or 'hell'.
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Tuesday 22 March 2011
If the minnows combined
The whole World Cup structure was designed so that the top eight sides would go through and, after a 50-year process and one or two wobbles, that's what has happened. Next time round, there won't be any associate nations and the competition will be all the poorer for it. While they may not have stood much chance of progression through to the latter stages, the associates played their part in raising what could have been a month of utter tedium to something close to interesting. Perhaps if they combined resources, they'd have a real chance of doing something.
Here's what we think a combined side of those not progressing* would look like.
1. Hiral Patel
Opening bat is one area all the associates struggled in, but Canada's Patel flung the bat for an entertaining 50 against Australia and a brisk 30-odd against New Zealand after being overlooked for the first four games which at least showed some potential. The 19-year old didn't look overawed by facing the Aussie quicks - something that can't be said about players much older.
2. Brendan Taylor
Zimbabwe's Taylor had a mixed tournament. A first-baller against Canada was a low point, but he recovered to make 44 in the next game against New Zealand and after Zimbabwe had been flayed by Sri Lanka's opening duo, his quick 80 had you thinking that Zimbabwe might challenge the 328 target. Only briefly, but that's not nothing. Zimbabwe learned during the tournament that they'd been readmitted to the Test ranks and Taylor will benefit from that. He's showed he has the talent and at 25 has time on his side.
3. Tom Cooper
Not the most Dutch sounding of names, but Cooper had a solid tournament. A failure against South Africa isn't a disgrace and by the time he'd made just five against Ireland, the Netherlands were already out. In between, he made a couple of 30s, a 40 and an unbeaten 50 as he was the only Dutch batsman to show any resistance against the West Indies. A consistent performer who chipped in with a few dibbly off-breaks as well.
4. Ryan ten Doeschate
Two hundreds in the competition for the Dutch all-rounder, the first of which helped set up a 290+ chase for England in their opening game. South Africa born and qualifying for England on residency, there were rumblings that both those nations would try and get him on board for the tournament, but he stayed in the orange of the Netherlands and good for them that he did. 307 runs at better than 60, 7 wickets at a slightly expensive 46 is a job well done.
5. Shakib-al-Hasan
Bangladesh captain Shakib would slot right into any other team. He makes vital runs in the lower-middle order and his left-arm spin is incredibly difficult to get off the square. Moreover, he's a shrewd tactician and even after the routing that his side copped from the West Indies, spoke intelligently despite the huge pressure of a vocal home crowd.
6. Kevin O'Brien
He hit a 50-ball hundred against England. Fifty. Wasn't as entrusted with the ball as might have been expected, but still took 4/71 against West Indies. When this tournament is done and dusted though, people will still be talking about that amazing onslaught against the English.
7. Peter Borren
He only has one shot - he attempts to cut everything - but he's a handy late-order hitter and nagging medium pace bowler. The Dutch captain, he marshalled his troops well. Mind, if this writer had mad, scary eyes like that, I reckon I could get people to do my bidding unquestioningly as well.
8. Mushfiqur Rahim
Bangladesh wicketkeeper who knows the rules better than Matt Prior.
9. Shafiul Islam
As with opening batsmen, pace bowling is a department that all the associates struggled with. Shafiul proved more than handy though. He zipped it through at decent rather than express pace and took six wickets at a respectable 34. Only the South Africans tucked into him, taking 44 off his five overs. Nobody else could play him and he was there in that ninth-wicket stand that saw Bangladesh overhaul the English.
10. George Dockrell
In his second World Cup, but not even 19 years old. If that's not living the dream, then I don't know what is. Seven wickets at less than 30 each is good, but his control was good too and his economy rate was under 4.5. That is bloody brilliant. Improving with the bat too.
11. Ray Price
The second man in our XI with the cold, dead eyes of a killer, it says here that Price is 34. That's at least 30 short of where we'd have him, but veteran though he may be, he's still producing the goods. Australia couldn't work him out when he opened the bowling against them which led to some ludicrous claims that the Aussies had taken cash to ensure the first ten overs went for less than a given amount. Rubbish. They just couldn't play Ray Price. As attacking a left-arm spinner as you could wish to see, Price will play an important part of Zimbabwe's second coming as a Test nation.
No Kenyans in there, which tells you all you need to know about how they went at the tournament.
* - Yes, it's a bit of a cheat. You can't make a side from just the associates, so some Zimbabweans and Bangladeshis had to be included.
Here's what we think a combined side of those not progressing* would look like.
1. Hiral Patel
Opening bat is one area all the associates struggled in, but Canada's Patel flung the bat for an entertaining 50 against Australia and a brisk 30-odd against New Zealand after being overlooked for the first four games which at least showed some potential. The 19-year old didn't look overawed by facing the Aussie quicks - something that can't be said about players much older.
2. Brendan Taylor
Zimbabwe's Taylor had a mixed tournament. A first-baller against Canada was a low point, but he recovered to make 44 in the next game against New Zealand and after Zimbabwe had been flayed by Sri Lanka's opening duo, his quick 80 had you thinking that Zimbabwe might challenge the 328 target. Only briefly, but that's not nothing. Zimbabwe learned during the tournament that they'd been readmitted to the Test ranks and Taylor will benefit from that. He's showed he has the talent and at 25 has time on his side.
3. Tom Cooper
Not the most Dutch sounding of names, but Cooper had a solid tournament. A failure against South Africa isn't a disgrace and by the time he'd made just five against Ireland, the Netherlands were already out. In between, he made a couple of 30s, a 40 and an unbeaten 50 as he was the only Dutch batsman to show any resistance against the West Indies. A consistent performer who chipped in with a few dibbly off-breaks as well.
4. Ryan ten Doeschate
Two hundreds in the competition for the Dutch all-rounder, the first of which helped set up a 290+ chase for England in their opening game. South Africa born and qualifying for England on residency, there were rumblings that both those nations would try and get him on board for the tournament, but he stayed in the orange of the Netherlands and good for them that he did. 307 runs at better than 60, 7 wickets at a slightly expensive 46 is a job well done.
5. Shakib-al-Hasan
Bangladesh captain Shakib would slot right into any other team. He makes vital runs in the lower-middle order and his left-arm spin is incredibly difficult to get off the square. Moreover, he's a shrewd tactician and even after the routing that his side copped from the West Indies, spoke intelligently despite the huge pressure of a vocal home crowd.
6. Kevin O'Brien
He hit a 50-ball hundred against England. Fifty. Wasn't as entrusted with the ball as might have been expected, but still took 4/71 against West Indies. When this tournament is done and dusted though, people will still be talking about that amazing onslaught against the English.
7. Peter Borren
He only has one shot - he attempts to cut everything - but he's a handy late-order hitter and nagging medium pace bowler. The Dutch captain, he marshalled his troops well. Mind, if this writer had mad, scary eyes like that, I reckon I could get people to do my bidding unquestioningly as well.
8. Mushfiqur Rahim
Bangladesh wicketkeeper who knows the rules better than Matt Prior.
9. Shafiul Islam
As with opening batsmen, pace bowling is a department that all the associates struggled with. Shafiul proved more than handy though. He zipped it through at decent rather than express pace and took six wickets at a respectable 34. Only the South Africans tucked into him, taking 44 off his five overs. Nobody else could play him and he was there in that ninth-wicket stand that saw Bangladesh overhaul the English.
10. George Dockrell
In his second World Cup, but not even 19 years old. If that's not living the dream, then I don't know what is. Seven wickets at less than 30 each is good, but his control was good too and his economy rate was under 4.5. That is bloody brilliant. Improving with the bat too.
11. Ray Price
The second man in our XI with the cold, dead eyes of a killer, it says here that Price is 34. That's at least 30 short of where we'd have him, but veteran though he may be, he's still producing the goods. Australia couldn't work him out when he opened the bowling against them which led to some ludicrous claims that the Aussies had taken cash to ensure the first ten overs went for less than a given amount. Rubbish. They just couldn't play Ray Price. As attacking a left-arm spinner as you could wish to see, Price will play an important part of Zimbabwe's second coming as a Test nation.
No Kenyans in there, which tells you all you need to know about how they went at the tournament.
* - Yes, it's a bit of a cheat. You can't make a side from just the associates, so some Zimbabweans and Bangladeshis had to be included.
Saturday 19 March 2011
Shastri, Ravi
Indian opener/off-spinner turned pundit. First pundit to graduate with a first-class degree from the University of Stating the Bleeding Obvious.
Sunday 13 March 2011
Default
Three weeks into this World Cup and we're just over half way into the group stage. That's a ludicrous sentence which we've gone into before, but at the very least you'd have thought some sort of picture would be emerging about the likely contenders and yet none has emerged. The fancied runners have all raised more doubts about their ability to bring it home than they have laid down a marker.
Everyone thought India's batting would be so powerful as to render all attacks worthless, but they keep dicking about with the order and they've suffered three major collapses which has allowed sides to get at them. South Africa are guilty of the same and have lost the one man - Imran Tahir - who gave them that one element they've been lacking since reintroduction. England haven't managed to put two parts of the game together in a single match yet and while New Zealand have some lower-middle order batsmen seemingly intent on launching bombs all over the sub-continent, that's pretty much all they've got. Sri Lanka are almost the reverse and rely on the top three or four for the runs and don't have anything lower down while the West Indies lack up to four players to make the grade, well though Kemar Roach has bowled. Pakistan, like England, are as likely to beat themselves as they are anyone else and none of the others are really capable, even though Ireland, Holland and Bangladesh have played nice cameos.
All of which means that by doing nothing particularly badly and nothing particularly well, Australia are going to win yet another World Cup and mainly by default.
Everyone thought India's batting would be so powerful as to render all attacks worthless, but they keep dicking about with the order and they've suffered three major collapses which has allowed sides to get at them. South Africa are guilty of the same and have lost the one man - Imran Tahir - who gave them that one element they've been lacking since reintroduction. England haven't managed to put two parts of the game together in a single match yet and while New Zealand have some lower-middle order batsmen seemingly intent on launching bombs all over the sub-continent, that's pretty much all they've got. Sri Lanka are almost the reverse and rely on the top three or four for the runs and don't have anything lower down while the West Indies lack up to four players to make the grade, well though Kemar Roach has bowled. Pakistan, like England, are as likely to beat themselves as they are anyone else and none of the others are really capable, even though Ireland, Holland and Bangladesh have played nice cameos.
All of which means that by doing nothing particularly badly and nothing particularly well, Australia are going to win yet another World Cup and mainly by default.
Monday 7 March 2011
Open and shut case
Kevin Pietersen has gut knack and is off home from the World Cup early. This leaves England with a bit of a predicament. It's not as though the experiment of opening with Pietersen was a raging success, but at least it looked like giving us one opening partnership that will last a tournament. Instead, the English tradition of an unsettled pairing at the top of the order continues.
Eoin Morgan comes into the squad to replace Pietersen, but it's unthinkable that the impish Irish genius will go in first up. The recent attempt at making Matt Prior an opener failed - again - and can't be allowed to happen again. Luke Wright has opened for England in the past, but he's hardly likely to be taken off drinks-carrying duties in the foreseeable future as he's doing such a great job there. Instead, there's one other man that's done the job in the recent past and that's Ian Bell. He's done the job pretty well to boot and if the current trend of opening the bowling with spinners continues, he's unlikely to be flummoxed by it.
Pietersen's ability to add another spin option to the side will be missed and may prove a reprieve for Michael Yardy who has been throwing pies so far. Unless Ravi Bopara and Jonathan Trott can finagle a few overs of medium pacery between them, the Sussex skipper will presumably remain a feature of this side's make-up unless, in an Escape To Victory style, someone repeatedly slams Luke Wright's arm in a door so we can call up Adil Rashid.
Whichever way England go, Pietersen's departure will mean I'll have to find a new phrase to shout at the radio when England are playing now. Far too often in this tournament, I've found myself yelling "KP you fucking moron" as he finds new and interesting ways to get out to left-arm spin.
Eoin Morgan comes into the squad to replace Pietersen, but it's unthinkable that the impish Irish genius will go in first up. The recent attempt at making Matt Prior an opener failed - again - and can't be allowed to happen again. Luke Wright has opened for England in the past, but he's hardly likely to be taken off drinks-carrying duties in the foreseeable future as he's doing such a great job there. Instead, there's one other man that's done the job in the recent past and that's Ian Bell. He's done the job pretty well to boot and if the current trend of opening the bowling with spinners continues, he's unlikely to be flummoxed by it.
Pietersen's ability to add another spin option to the side will be missed and may prove a reprieve for Michael Yardy who has been throwing pies so far. Unless Ravi Bopara and Jonathan Trott can finagle a few overs of medium pacery between them, the Sussex skipper will presumably remain a feature of this side's make-up unless, in an Escape To Victory style, someone repeatedly slams Luke Wright's arm in a door so we can call up Adil Rashid.
Whichever way England go, Pietersen's departure will mean I'll have to find a new phrase to shout at the radio when England are playing now. Far too often in this tournament, I've found myself yelling "KP you fucking moron" as he finds new and interesting ways to get out to left-arm spin.
Sunday 6 March 2011
Lehmann, Darren
Tubby Australian middle-order batsman and purveyor of left-arm darts. One of Yorkshire's all-time greats, criminally underused by his country.
Existed as a player on a diet of lager and fags which makes one wonder just what sort of regime exists at his Academy.
Existed as a player on a diet of lager and fags which makes one wonder just what sort of regime exists at his Academy.
Patel, Samit
Saturday 5 March 2011
Associate nation
Non-Test playing country who get routinely spanked in ODI tournaments by the big boys. Except England.
Gregg Wallace
A shot along the lines of the Tillakaratne Dilshan ramp shot that goes for six over the wicketkeeper's head. Named after the bullet-headed Masterchef judge and his typical forkful when testing a plate of food, i.e. a massive scoop.
Wednesday 2 March 2011
Canny operator
Descriptive of a bowler who, while never looking like taking a wicket, rarely goes for much above a run a ball.
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