Friday 28 August 2009

Now it's sunk in...

Almost a week has passed now and a question remains: how did England win the Ashes?

All the stats suggest that Australia were the better side, as did much of the televisual evidence. But they weren't that much better than England and, at key moments, were worse. Just. But when England were bad - Cardiff for all bar the last session and Headingley - they were abysmal. So while the celebrations were far more muted than four years ago, there was good reason other than that Trafalgar Square nonsense was toe-curlingly embarrassing.

Has it erased any memory of the drubbing handed out last time in Australia? Of course not, even if Sky TV airbrushed it completely from history, but times have changed and Australia suddenly find themselves down from first to fourth in the Test rankings. South Africa assume the top spot and where are England next? Yep, South Africa, so four of the top six should feel right at home as England start life AF - After Fred.

It's to the shorter forms of the game now, with two Twenty20s and seven (why?) one-dayers. England warmed up by being characteristically useless against Ireland while Australia belted Scotland all over Edinburgh. These 50-over matches come just after the ECB decided that 50-over cricket isn't for the likes of them, reducing the one domestic 50-over competition - the FP Trophy - to a 40-over format. Great planning. Presumably that'll be to prepare cricketers for the international 40-over game. Which doesn't exist.

Wednesday 19 August 2009

Eyes down, look in

When all else fails in England, what do we do? Turn to South Africa of course.

Some time ago, when Andrew Flintoff announced his retirement, a conversation between myself and Chris went along the lines:
"Flintoff retiring. Let us scour every corner of South Africa for a replacement".
"Yeah. That Pieter van der Bergersburger should be qualified soon".

So step forward Jonathan Trott.
What a time to make a debut, South African or not. England lose and he's not going to play another Test. England win and he's hardly guaranteed. But this is not the time to be churlish. This is the time for every man to stand up for his (adopted) country and anyone who reckons a South African won't take as much joy from seeing the Australians lose this final Test as the English would is, frankly, a big fat liar.

Five more days... Then I might actually get some work done.

Thursday 13 August 2009

Nannes nonsense

It ought to be fairly simple. The country you, a parent or a grandparent you were born in or are citizen/resident of you select to play for and away you go. In these modern times, many people have a number of different nations they qualify for, even in a geographically confined game such as cricket.

Dirk Nannes then. A latecomer to the game, his starring performances for his state in Australia earned him an IPL contract, but he was nowhere near the Australian squad for the World T20 and so he opted for the Netherlands, the country of his parents birth. No problem.

He did well in that competition on the back of a good IPL. Fast forward less than three months and the squad for Australia's two Twenty20 games after the Ashes is announced, including the name Dirk Nannes.

Now I'm not vilifying Nannes - far from it. Neither am I completely against the possibility of switching nationality as happens far more now then at any point in history, and cricket seems to have it's rules on switching fairly well defined, especially compared to that other love of mine, rugby league. These aren't sports like football which has a truly global spread - the only game that does really - and provides opportunities to represent your nation be you from the Solomon Islands, Uzbekistan, El Salvador or wherever. Putting in your lot with one of the lesser lights of the international scene in cricket or RL is a risky business were you unable to then go on and play for the big boys. Ed Joyce, for instance, threw his lot in with England and, despite a good start, it didn't work out. He is now serving his 7-year qualification period, just like Graeme Hick and Kevin Pietersen had to, before he goes back to Ireland. Where's Nannes's seven years? Has it suddenly become a seven-week period?

With the Indian board disrupting attempts to come up with an anti-doping plan, the expanse of Twenty20, continuing decline in Test crowds and the overworking of players a row over nationality isn't something world cricket could do with right now.

Wednesday 12 August 2009

Back To The Future

So, after the calamity at Headingley last week all eyes turn onto the Oval for the decider in the 2009 Ashes series. After some pretty piss poor efforts ((C) The 12th Man) with the bat it's Panic Time in the ranks of the media and the public.

The figures weren't pretty.

Bopara 1 & 0 (Although, granted he got a shocker in the 2nd innings)
Bell 8 & 3
Collingwood 0 & 4

So they decide to throw some of these boys back into Country Cricket for the lastest round and Bell and Bopara have scored a grand total of 2 runs between them. Jonathon Trott, touted to replace His Fredness before the last test only got 15 in his knock so far.

Owais Shah who was dumped by England earlier in the year hasn't impressed to far this year and he only contributed 8 in his latest knock.

Now Graham Gooch has lept to the defence of Bopara and has questioned why the captain Andrew Strauss isn't in the Middlesex team as they host Bopara's Essex. Strauss contributed 3 & 32 at Headingley and it wouldn't have done him any harm to have a run in this weekend.

So the knives are out and it's time for the big cull if you believe half of the media. The only problem is would seem that Doc Emmett is going to be needed as England seem to be stepping back in time to club a team together to wrestle the urn away from the Criminals.

Funnily enough. the DeLorean was last seen on Wheldon Road in Castleford heading towards Headingley for the Super League clash that is taking place this friday night.


Anyway I digress

So who is in the frame then........

Rob Key - He's dreaming of an Ashes recall. He hasn't played for England since 2005.

Mark Ramprakash - He'd be thrilled to be a part of it. For god's sake he's 40 in September, has won a dancing competition on the telly and hasn't been in the test arena since 2002.


Marcus Trescothick - Hasn't played for England since doing a runner from the 06/07 Ashes Series in Australia because of a stress related illness. Gotta admit though, this guy is the form horse if he can overcome his demons. He's had 5 centuries in the County Championship so far this season, the last at late as last week against Warwickshire.

Owais Shah - No chance I'm afraid. This bridge has been burned and I can't see the selectors going back there that quickly

Johnathon Trott - Well, they wouldn't chuck him in at Headingley do you really think they'll throw him in at the Oval?

Still, we'll no doubt find out at the weekend when the squad in announced in what is a must win game for England, otherwise that urn will be with Ricky Ponting when he returns to Australia after the game at the Oval.

Also there is the shadow of Brett Lee looming for the Criminals as well as he has recovered from an injury that has hampered his tour so far.

Sunday 2 August 2009

Saturday 1 August 2009

What a day

After the brief action on Thursday - two hours, some rank bad bowling that made Shane Watson look like a veteran opener, one wicket - England exploded into life on Friday.

Graham Onions had gone at seven an over in the short Thursday session - tempted to introduce a pun about his figures making your eyes water, but I won't bother - but roared back on Friday morning, sending back Watson and Michael Hussey with the first two balls of the day, both of the beautiful swinging deliveries. The first to the right-handed Watson pitched on middle and straightened - plumb lbw. The second was even better, pitching middle-and-off to the left-hander and, instead of going across Hussey, straightening and removing off stump with no shot offered. And so the tone was set.

When the ball is hooping about, there are few better than Jimmy Anderson and he made hay with a five-for the pick of which was the one that got debutant Graham Manou. He was on debut after Brad Haddin broke a finger in the warm-up after the teams had been submitted, but England had enough grace to allow a replacement. Anderson and Onions wrapped it all up between them which meant Andrew Flintoff was spared too much work on that still troublesome ankle.

Though England lost Alistair Cook for nought, Andrew Strauss looks in complete control of the situation. He's in form and, without Kevin Pietersen, his runs will be vital. Ian Bell even chimed in with a rare collector's item, a six, struck back over Nathan Hauritz's head.

However, the draw is the favourite outcome here. The fates have conspired against England and the weather is doing it's level best to scupper any chance of allowing the side to grind Australia into the dirt in what is a rare period of dominance over the baggy greens. It all looks like we're going to Headingley with the series at 1-0.