World T20: first phase

The first group stage of the World Twenty20 is in the book, giving way to an utterly pointless second group stage. Even UEFA decided two group stages was overkill, but the ICC blunder serenely on, not learning anything from the last World Cup. Why, with eight qualifiers from the initial groups, we can't go straight into quarter-finals is anybody's guess.

Anyway, what did we take from those first group stages?

First and foremost, we learned that making the second group stage seeded in terms of rankings based on the last World T20 was a right old stitch up and left half the games in the group stage utterly meaningless. When South Africa and New Zealand faced each other, both knew they were through and into which group. Another reason for going into straight knockout with group winners facing group runners up. Far too sensible and straightforward for the ICC though. Why do something open, transparent, clear and utterly sensible when you can pour on a huge dollop of fudge?

Of the cricket, we learned that Ricky Ponting does not trust spinners whereas Graeme Smith does. And that's what separates a very good T20 side, as South Africa are, and one that isn't. Australia did provide the schadenfreude moment of this and probably every other decade by being beaten by both the West Indies and Sri Lanka and failing to progress. Having sent Andrew Symonds home, the side lacked any sort of balance. Nathan Hauritz is probably a lovely bloke, but international spinner? No. And Shane Watson just looks perplexed as to what it is that he is supposed to do.

The West Indies... There's an enigma, personified by the captain Chris Gayle who went run crazy against the Australians, launching balls out of the Oval and onto the Clapham Road. After months of not being arsed about cricket in some dismal performances against England, Gayle and his side suddenly burst into life to the annoyance and frustration of the watching world.

The associate nations had mixed fortunes. Scotland briefly threatened against New Zealand in a seven over game, setting the Black Caps 90 to win. It seemed a tall order until Jesse Ryder saw to it that they knocked them off with an over to spare. South Africa took them to pieces, despite Kyle Coetzer's quite, quite brilliant catch. The Netherlands had their moment at Lord's, beating England who went from 102 for 0 after 11 overs to a disappointing 160-odd. England's thrashing of Pakistan meant that the Dutch didn't have to win their final game to progress, but were demolished by a resurgent Shahid Afridi in a one-sided contest. Ireland are the ones that do go through to the second stage, but how good are they, really? Not very. A good win over Bangladesh probably says more about them than it does Ireland. Subsequent bashings from India and, in the second phase, New Zealand more accurately reflect their status. Better than Bangladesh, but nowhere near the rest.

England got everybody's hopes up with that win over Pakistan, but are having their bums smacked by the champions-elect South Africa at time of writing. The Proteas look the real deal. They've a balanced attack, some fantastic batsmen - none more so than the imperious AB de Villiers - and are electric in the field. So are New Zealand, but injuries have decimated their side with Daniel Vettori not having had a game yet and star batsmen Ross Taylor and Jesse Ryder injured. The game between the two sides saw South Africa make a modest 128 and yet they defended it, which was incredible. India look strong all the way through the side and Sri Lanka have a bowling attack to be feared. Ajantha Mendis is bamboozling everybody and Murali is, well... Murali. They rely a bit too heavily on Sanath Jayasuriya, Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene for runs, but Tilekeratne Dilshan has stood up and been counted. With powerful hitters throughout, the West Indies stand a chance while Pakistan look too erratic.

Six of the final eight have a real chance of winning the thing while England and Ireland look like makeweights. Had it been straight knockout, it could be an exciting climax to the competition. As it is, we've got some more one sided games and dead rubbers to sit through before the semi-finals.

And the final thing we learned is that Owais Shah isn't so much a rabbit in the headlights when a camera is pointed at him, more that his 'next batsman' bit looks like a hostage video. "My favourite shot is the cover drive and I'm being treated very well", he might as well say.