Let us begin this with an apology. Below are a number of words about Kevin Pietersen. Sorry.
If you've ever been systematically undermined in your job, you'll know the plan of attack. It's back to your desk, update the CV and get out of there as soon as. That's a little tricky in international cricket. You can't just swan off and go play for someone else (insert your own joke here about international eligibility rules). You're pretty much stuck. If Kevin Pietersen genuinely feels that he's unwelcome in the England environment, he has little option but to reject the Test contract that will be offered to him shortly and become the new Chris Gayle, the pre-reconciled Gayle, a bat for hire in the various t20 leagues around the world.
The question that arises, of course, is whether Pietersen has been systematically undermined or if he's now challenging David Icke as one of the great conspiracy theorists of the age. If Pietersen is really willing to end his England career over a spoof Twitter account, then he really needs to have a look back over his own public pronouncements and develop a bit of self-awareness. We'll stop short of asking for humility as that isn't a quality high on his list of traits and it's absence, in part, makes him the batsman he is, the swaggering, domineering beast who will dictate terms. If this is the end, then we have to hope there's something else at play rather than just the suggestion - strenuously denied - that one of his team-mates is behind the spoof.
If it's glory and adulation Pietersen desires - and he strikes us a man who likes to be told on a regular basis that he's great and how we can't possibly cope without him - then he'll find that without international cricket and the recognition that goes with it, he will struggle to find it playing in the Indian/Bangladesh/Sri Lankan/Zimbabwe Premier League.
If this is the end, England lose their most infuriating and brilliant batsman of this and (m)any other era. His 158 at The Oval in the Ashes of 2005 was as brutal as it comes. By contrast, his dismissal at Cardiff four years later, when he swept a non-spinning Nathan Hauritz off-break from a good two feet outside off to loop a catch up to short leg, was horrible. "That's the way I play", he implored afterwards. Well maybe it bloody well shouldn't be, playing such a low, low percentage shot when well set. Time and again, we'd hear the "That's the way I play" excuse, normally after holing out at long-on when trying to go from 95 to 100 in one shot. And yet that's also why he's endurably watchable, the pyrotechnics and ugly dismissals both making for great television. Without him, England become weaker - that's undeniable. But cricket's unique dichotomy between the team ethic and the individual nature of batsmanship has never been more starkly demonstrated by one person.
But it's worth remembering that the last time Pietersen threw a massive, flouncy strop led to his removal as captain, Peter Moores' dismissal as coach and the arrival of the Strauss/Flower dream team, successive Ashes series wins and the number one ranking. So it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Friday, 10 August 2012
Thursday, 24 May 2012
Calling out Nick Knight
Kevin Pietersen was fined for saying the following on Twitter: "Can somebody PLEASE tell me how Nick Knight has worked his way into the commentary box for home Tests?? RIDICULOUS!!". This is, apparently, prejudicial to the interests of the ECB.
Yeah, whatever, but nobody can deny that Pietersen has a point. Knight has never expressed an actual opinion since his broadcast career began. He does a funny thing with his top lip before espousing his latest nugget of vapid, cliched nonsense which, once you've noticed it, is really annoying and impossible to avoid. So far, so bad, but the bigger problem lies beneath.
Sky's commentary team is a cosy coterie of former England captains, coaches and Nick Knight. Professional broadcasters are conspicuous by their absence. The same is true of Test Match Special where Henry Blofeld is the last of the classically-trained journalists to appear regularly. The same is true around the world where Tony Cozier and Harsha Bhogle are about the only professionals in a world where Laxman Sivaramakrishnan can find work in commentary. There's a fetishisation among broadcasters to go for the ex-pro regardless of any other concerns. This is almost unique in cricket, unlike other sports where a professional commentator will describe while an ex-pro adds colour and tactical insight. With the box full of ex-pros, you end up with neither.
The other element is something the ECB response to Pietersen's outburst hints at: the commercial concerns of the broadcaster. Heaven forbid someone with strident opinions be allowed to spout forth. There's a reason that it was only Michael Holding's entertaining rant directed at the WICB was the only real area of dissent on Sky's coverage allowed. The sponsors must be appeased. The same is true on the BBC; despite their lack of sponsors themselves, the ECB's must not be upset or in any way associated with negative coverage. Each of these two areas leads to anodyne, boring coverage, but the two together leads to anodyne, boring coverage brought to you by an anodyne, boring old boys club.
Knight is rubbish, but the bigger issues lie in the policy of recruitment and the lack of risk-taking engendered throughout the game. Pietersen will not be allowed near a commentary box until he has that element of outspokeness surgically removed.
And if any players want to sound off about commentators under the cloak of anonymity, do drop me a line on twitter
Yeah, whatever, but nobody can deny that Pietersen has a point. Knight has never expressed an actual opinion since his broadcast career began. He does a funny thing with his top lip before espousing his latest nugget of vapid, cliched nonsense which, once you've noticed it, is really annoying and impossible to avoid. So far, so bad, but the bigger problem lies beneath.
Sky's commentary team is a cosy coterie of former England captains, coaches and Nick Knight. Professional broadcasters are conspicuous by their absence. The same is true of Test Match Special where Henry Blofeld is the last of the classically-trained journalists to appear regularly. The same is true around the world where Tony Cozier and Harsha Bhogle are about the only professionals in a world where Laxman Sivaramakrishnan can find work in commentary. There's a fetishisation among broadcasters to go for the ex-pro regardless of any other concerns. This is almost unique in cricket, unlike other sports where a professional commentator will describe while an ex-pro adds colour and tactical insight. With the box full of ex-pros, you end up with neither.
The other element is something the ECB response to Pietersen's outburst hints at: the commercial concerns of the broadcaster. Heaven forbid someone with strident opinions be allowed to spout forth. There's a reason that it was only Michael Holding's entertaining rant directed at the WICB was the only real area of dissent on Sky's coverage allowed. The sponsors must be appeased. The same is true on the BBC; despite their lack of sponsors themselves, the ECB's must not be upset or in any way associated with negative coverage. Each of these two areas leads to anodyne, boring coverage, but the two together leads to anodyne, boring coverage brought to you by an anodyne, boring old boys club.
Knight is rubbish, but the bigger issues lie in the policy of recruitment and the lack of risk-taking engendered throughout the game. Pietersen will not be allowed near a commentary box until he has that element of outspokeness surgically removed.
And if any players want to sound off about commentators under the cloak of anonymity, do drop me a line on twitter
Thursday, 17 May 2012
A debate where debate is not needed
Happy new Test series!
Yes, the cold, grey skies - well, over Leeds they are; seems it's better in London - herald the onset of the English Test summer. The West Indies are the opponents for the first part of the summer and not expected to provide a huge amount of resistance. They arrive depleted for a number of reasons - politics, IPL, intransigence, disinterest - and as has become the norm when they arrive for Test matches in this country, the weather flatly refuses to be anything other than wintry. At least they don't have to go up to Durham this time, where the sight of a shivering Shiv Chanderpaul fielding at slip wearing every jumper he's ever owned is a pitiable one.
On the flip side, England are a happy and settled bunch after ending a pretty torrid winter with a much-needed and morale-boosting win. They've added Jonny Bairstow to the squad and he's expected to play, batting at six. The Todd Flanders look-alike is in fine form and has shown in county and international one-day cricket that he fears nothing. He'll come in for Samit Patel from the last time England played a Test with Matt Prior dropping down a spot as England revert to the four-man attack that's served them so well in every place other than south Asia.
Of that four man attack, Graeme Swann, Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad are givens. There should be no debate about the fourth either, and yet it seems a bone of contention. Yes, England are blessed with a number of different options, but one of those stands out so far above the others that it shouldn't be an issue. Steven Finn, Chris Tremlett and Graham Onions are all fine bowlers, of course, but how Tim Bresnan has become anything other than a first pick borders on the scandalous.
After 11 Tests - in all of which he has been on the winning side, lest we forget - Bresnan bats at over 40 and bowls at under 25. As a lower middle-order batsman alone, his figures would warrant discussion. As a bowler alone, he ought to be ahead of the others. As a package, he should be undroppable. As genuine all-rounders go, there's onlyAnthony McGrath Jacques Kallis that surpasses his figures. He offers so much more than stats though. His stereotypical willingness to keep running in is reminiscent of his fellow Yorkshireman Matthew Hoggard and that effort gets rewards. And yet the debate goes along the lines of 'and if there's an injury to one of your first three seamers, there's always Bresnan to come in'.
He's done the hard miles for England, ploughing up and down motorways after being overlooked in favour of someone that the Prozone devotees determines is better horse for a particular course, missing chunks of county games as a result, but he still takes it on the chin and grinds through the overs for Yorkshire. The time has come, however, for him to be a mainstay of this England attack. He's proved himself. No longer should it be a case of 'if there's an injury, there's Bresnan to come in'. It should be 'who have we got if Bresnan is injured?'. The fact there's even a discussion over his inclusion is a debate that we need not have.
Yes, the cold, grey skies - well, over Leeds they are; seems it's better in London - herald the onset of the English Test summer. The West Indies are the opponents for the first part of the summer and not expected to provide a huge amount of resistance. They arrive depleted for a number of reasons - politics, IPL, intransigence, disinterest - and as has become the norm when they arrive for Test matches in this country, the weather flatly refuses to be anything other than wintry. At least they don't have to go up to Durham this time, where the sight of a shivering Shiv Chanderpaul fielding at slip wearing every jumper he's ever owned is a pitiable one.
On the flip side, England are a happy and settled bunch after ending a pretty torrid winter with a much-needed and morale-boosting win. They've added Jonny Bairstow to the squad and he's expected to play, batting at six. The Todd Flanders look-alike is in fine form and has shown in county and international one-day cricket that he fears nothing. He'll come in for Samit Patel from the last time England played a Test with Matt Prior dropping down a spot as England revert to the four-man attack that's served them so well in every place other than south Asia.
Of that four man attack, Graeme Swann, Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad are givens. There should be no debate about the fourth either, and yet it seems a bone of contention. Yes, England are blessed with a number of different options, but one of those stands out so far above the others that it shouldn't be an issue. Steven Finn, Chris Tremlett and Graham Onions are all fine bowlers, of course, but how Tim Bresnan has become anything other than a first pick borders on the scandalous.
After 11 Tests - in all of which he has been on the winning side, lest we forget - Bresnan bats at over 40 and bowls at under 25. As a lower middle-order batsman alone, his figures would warrant discussion. As a bowler alone, he ought to be ahead of the others. As a package, he should be undroppable. As genuine all-rounders go, there's only
He's done the hard miles for England, ploughing up and down motorways after being overlooked in favour of someone that the Prozone devotees determines is better horse for a particular course, missing chunks of county games as a result, but he still takes it on the chin and grinds through the overs for Yorkshire. The time has come, however, for him to be a mainstay of this England attack. He's proved himself. No longer should it be a case of 'if there's an injury, there's Bresnan to come in'. It should be 'who have we got if Bresnan is injured?'. The fact there's even a discussion over his inclusion is a debate that we need not have.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Shivnarine Chanderpaul, a tribute
In the final Test between the West Indies and Australia, Shiv Chanderpaul became the tenth player to pass 10,000 Test match runs. At the same time, he lifted his career average back over 50 and went back to the top of the Test batting rankings.
Never the easiest on the eye, Chanderpaul remains a favourite here at Tasty Morkels. Gritty and grafting rather than flamboyantly calypso, he is still capable of explosive innings. An ODI 150 in India stands out in the mind's eye, for instance. He's just an all-round great who can conjure up stats like his average knock against Australia lasting over four hours and the fact that he is the player that has been on the losing sides in Tests most often. That's a harsh legacy for one so capable and one who prizes his wicket above pretty much anything else.
But how to honour him on his achievement of making it to 10,000? We got the Subbuteo Cricket down from the attic and created a special Shiv guard of honour, with the majority lining up in good order and one down the end stood outrageously towards leg:
Well done Shiv. Don't ever change.
Never the easiest on the eye, Chanderpaul remains a favourite here at Tasty Morkels. Gritty and grafting rather than flamboyantly calypso, he is still capable of explosive innings. An ODI 150 in India stands out in the mind's eye, for instance. He's just an all-round great who can conjure up stats like his average knock against Australia lasting over four hours and the fact that he is the player that has been on the losing sides in Tests most often. That's a harsh legacy for one so capable and one who prizes his wicket above pretty much anything else.
But how to honour him on his achievement of making it to 10,000? We got the Subbuteo Cricket down from the attic and created a special Shiv guard of honour, with the majority lining up in good order and one down the end stood outrageously towards leg:
Well done Shiv. Don't ever change.
Yorkshire part 2 - An apology
A few days ago, we suggested that Yorkshire had hit rock bottom and were about to turn things around 180 degrees and ride the surge to division 2 glory and onwards to next season's county championship title.
In light of an archetypically Yorkshire implosion, the club have seen fit to let one of the finest bowlers on the staff leave the club. Ajmal Shahzad had a troubled 2011, but started this season with a bang, right up there with his pace and making the ball talk which earned high praise from the coaching staff. He was praised in particular for his work ethic in getting back to something like the form that earned him one Test cap and a number of appearances for England in the shorter forms, including the last World Cup. There's a suggestion that Tim Bresnan's availability and the decision to give him the new ball over Shahzad has led to a deterioration in his attitude, something that the impending arrival of Mitchell Starc - surely a new-ball bowler if ever there was one - wasn't going to ease.
The reasons will, apparently, be made clear of the coming hours, days and weeks, but from this vantage point it looks like a sorry shambles, the like of which Yorkshire are alone in engineering. Twas ever thus, from alienating the likes of Ray Illingworth and Brian Close to the more recent episode with Matthew Hoggard. Shahzad's explosive pace is something that the side need in order to wake them from their slumbers. Uniquely, Yorkshire find a way to make that impossible.
Whatever has gone on, we feel we owe our readership an apology. It's never been plain sailing at Headingley and this season is no different. To have given you the impression that things were somehow different this time was irresponsible and we apologise for having caused any confusion and/or distress.
FURTHER READING: David Hopps, as ever, is pretty much bang on the banana over at Cricinfo.
In light of an archetypically Yorkshire implosion, the club have seen fit to let one of the finest bowlers on the staff leave the club. Ajmal Shahzad had a troubled 2011, but started this season with a bang, right up there with his pace and making the ball talk which earned high praise from the coaching staff. He was praised in particular for his work ethic in getting back to something like the form that earned him one Test cap and a number of appearances for England in the shorter forms, including the last World Cup. There's a suggestion that Tim Bresnan's availability and the decision to give him the new ball over Shahzad has led to a deterioration in his attitude, something that the impending arrival of Mitchell Starc - surely a new-ball bowler if ever there was one - wasn't going to ease.
The reasons will, apparently, be made clear of the coming hours, days and weeks, but from this vantage point it looks like a sorry shambles, the like of which Yorkshire are alone in engineering. Twas ever thus, from alienating the likes of Ray Illingworth and Brian Close to the more recent episode with Matthew Hoggard. Shahzad's explosive pace is something that the side need in order to wake them from their slumbers. Uniquely, Yorkshire find a way to make that impossible.
Whatever has gone on, we feel we owe our readership an apology. It's never been plain sailing at Headingley and this season is no different. To have given you the impression that things were somehow different this time was irresponsible and we apologise for having caused any confusion and/or distress.
FURTHER READING: David Hopps, as ever, is pretty much bang on the banana over at Cricinfo.
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
The 19th over
For it to happen once can be written off as statistically insignificant, but when the same thing happens a short time afterwards, we start to take notice and perhaps identify the birth of a trend. And we think we've seen one, namely this: The penultimate over of a t20 match is the key one.
Obviously, we'll be doing an in-depth statistical analysis of all t20 cricket at some point in the future (cough), but for now simply pointing it will do. It started with Albie Morkel's astonishing assault on the awkward bowling of Virat Kohli in game 13, taking him for 28 runs with Bangalore needing 43 off the last two overs. Though still with work to do in the last over, those six balls broke the back of the challenge allowing Dwayne Bravo and Ravi Jadeja to guide Chennai home.
The same thing happened today in game 33. With Mumbai needing 32 from two overs, Robin Peterson and Ambati Rayudu combined to take Piyush Chawla's figures from three overs for 19 runs to four overs for 46. Even as wily a bowler as Azhar Mahmood wasn't going to defend five from the final over and Mumbai grabbed a win from nowhere.
So what's the lesson here? Bangalore's mistake was allowing an agricultural slogger to tee off against the long-hops and full tosses of a part-time bowler with an action that could curdle milk. Peterson and Rayudu were facing a proper leggy, albeit one that has proved hittable in the past. Both episodes were very much a case of shit or bust for the batting side - they had to go for it and couldn't leave it any later. They swung, they won.
Time was that six runs off an over seemed a mountain of Himalayan proportions. The rapid expansion of the one-day game quickly meant that became the nonsense that we recognise today, but where scores in excess of 40 off two overs are becoming normal, that's a whole new ball game. We'll need to see such 19th-over pyrotechnics more often if we're going to form this into a new trend or even a tactic, but if any t20 captains out there want our advice it's this: Work on your death bowling options.
Obviously, we'll be doing an in-depth statistical analysis of all t20 cricket at some point in the future (cough), but for now simply pointing it will do. It started with Albie Morkel's astonishing assault on the awkward bowling of Virat Kohli in game 13, taking him for 28 runs with Bangalore needing 43 off the last two overs. Though still with work to do in the last over, those six balls broke the back of the challenge allowing Dwayne Bravo and Ravi Jadeja to guide Chennai home.
The same thing happened today in game 33. With Mumbai needing 32 from two overs, Robin Peterson and Ambati Rayudu combined to take Piyush Chawla's figures from three overs for 19 runs to four overs for 46. Even as wily a bowler as Azhar Mahmood wasn't going to defend five from the final over and Mumbai grabbed a win from nowhere.
So what's the lesson here? Bangalore's mistake was allowing an agricultural slogger to tee off against the long-hops and full tosses of a part-time bowler with an action that could curdle milk. Peterson and Rayudu were facing a proper leggy, albeit one that has proved hittable in the past. Both episodes were very much a case of shit or bust for the batting side - they had to go for it and couldn't leave it any later. They swung, they won.
Time was that six runs off an over seemed a mountain of Himalayan proportions. The rapid expansion of the one-day game quickly meant that became the nonsense that we recognise today, but where scores in excess of 40 off two overs are becoming normal, that's a whole new ball game. We'll need to see such 19th-over pyrotechnics more often if we're going to form this into a new trend or even a tactic, but if any t20 captains out there want our advice it's this: Work on your death bowling options.
Monday, 23 April 2012
Yorkshire - Always darkest before the dawn
Twelve months ago, Yorkshire were being tipped by many to if not win the County Championship, then certainly to go close. It didn't quite work out like that.
With a side light on experience, games were lost from seemingly impregnable positions. The home game against Nottinghamshire early in the season saw them go into day four looking to wrap up an innings victory. Six hours, a battling knock from Chris Read and a collapse of epic proportions later, they'd lost. It wasn't the first time that would happen either. Tim Bresnan spent more time on motorways after being surplus to requirements for England's Test summer and Jacques Rudolph's return to the side came too late to affect anything.
While results were poor, performances occasionally hinted at brighter things to come. A lot of the side were relatively young and showed plenty of promise, Joe Root and Jonathan Bairstow in particular. Other, more established players simply fell below their career standards, but had built up enough credit over the years to be given the benefit of large amounts of doubt. The feeling was that they'd bounce straight back and with some comfort.
The opening game of the county season saw Kent go to Headingley and thanks to a century stand for the last wicket, forced Yorkshire into following on before a battling second innings guided the Tykes to a draw. This was followed by a university game against the combined colleges of the Leeds and Bradford area where the students skittled the professionals for 135, a deficit of 76 on first innings. Oh dear.
This felt something like karma. There was an awful lot of bollocks spoken in regard to the relegation season. The supposed youth of the side, the invocation of bad luck and the presumption that they'd bounce back at the first attempt were all seen across the media and social networks. The side wasn't that young and it's not bad luck when the same things keep happening over and over again. Those first two games showed that bouncing back was not the foregone conclusion many seemed to think it would be.
And so to the game last week against Essex. With new signing Phil Jaques carrying the batting with 126 out of 246 first innings runs, the bowlers joined the party with Ryan Sidebottom - 5-30 in 24 overs - and Steve Patterson - three wickets in one over at one stage - impressing. The second innings saw runs from Root, Joe Sayers and the captain Andrew Gale who tried to set something up with a challenging declaration. Unfortunately, with day one a total washout and more rain on day four, there wasn't time to finish the job.
It's often said that you have to hit the bottom before you can start moving in the right direction - just see the national team for an example - and the games against Kent and Leeds/Bradford MCCU were if not the very bottom, certainly a wake-up call. With Jaques on board, the batting looks a lot better. A previously pop-gun attack stood up against Essex and the impending arrival of Mitchell Starc will do much to improve the bowling as a unit. There's now a real feeling that a corner has been turned. Positivity - never an attribute too closely associated with the average Yorkshireman - is suddenly an abundant commodity. The darkness of relegation was made worse by 'them from over the hills' becoming county champions, but now there's a real sense that dawn is breaking.
With a side light on experience, games were lost from seemingly impregnable positions. The home game against Nottinghamshire early in the season saw them go into day four looking to wrap up an innings victory. Six hours, a battling knock from Chris Read and a collapse of epic proportions later, they'd lost. It wasn't the first time that would happen either. Tim Bresnan spent more time on motorways after being surplus to requirements for England's Test summer and Jacques Rudolph's return to the side came too late to affect anything.
While results were poor, performances occasionally hinted at brighter things to come. A lot of the side were relatively young and showed plenty of promise, Joe Root and Jonathan Bairstow in particular. Other, more established players simply fell below their career standards, but had built up enough credit over the years to be given the benefit of large amounts of doubt. The feeling was that they'd bounce straight back and with some comfort.
The opening game of the county season saw Kent go to Headingley and thanks to a century stand for the last wicket, forced Yorkshire into following on before a battling second innings guided the Tykes to a draw. This was followed by a university game against the combined colleges of the Leeds and Bradford area where the students skittled the professionals for 135, a deficit of 76 on first innings. Oh dear.
This felt something like karma. There was an awful lot of bollocks spoken in regard to the relegation season. The supposed youth of the side, the invocation of bad luck and the presumption that they'd bounce back at the first attempt were all seen across the media and social networks. The side wasn't that young and it's not bad luck when the same things keep happening over and over again. Those first two games showed that bouncing back was not the foregone conclusion many seemed to think it would be.
And so to the game last week against Essex. With new signing Phil Jaques carrying the batting with 126 out of 246 first innings runs, the bowlers joined the party with Ryan Sidebottom - 5-30 in 24 overs - and Steve Patterson - three wickets in one over at one stage - impressing. The second innings saw runs from Root, Joe Sayers and the captain Andrew Gale who tried to set something up with a challenging declaration. Unfortunately, with day one a total washout and more rain on day four, there wasn't time to finish the job.
It's often said that you have to hit the bottom before you can start moving in the right direction - just see the national team for an example - and the games against Kent and Leeds/Bradford MCCU were if not the very bottom, certainly a wake-up call. With Jaques on board, the batting looks a lot better. A previously pop-gun attack stood up against Essex and the impending arrival of Mitchell Starc will do much to improve the bowling as a unit. There's now a real feeling that a corner has been turned. Positivity - never an attribute too closely associated with the average Yorkshireman - is suddenly an abundant commodity. The darkness of relegation was made worse by 'them from over the hills' becoming county champions, but now there's a real sense that dawn is breaking.
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