Here at Tasty Morkels, we like nothing better than to enjoy and celebrate all the moments that create the rich tapestry of skill, drama and humour that is cricket. 2011 provided plenty of examples, and as it's that time of year, it makes sense to hand out some awards on that basis.
Team of the Year
England
We're number 1 aren't we? Not only did we wrap up a 3-1 series win over the Aussies at their place, we then rolled over the supposedly fearsome Indians (who hardly looked bothered - more on that later) in a 4-0 mauling. Andy Flower has the balance of the side spot on: The batting order is settled, with runs potential from all top six slots. Ian Bell and Alistair Cook are in the form of their lives, easing the pressure on Andrew Strauss and Kevin Pietersen; Tim Bresnan and Chris Tremlett have joined James Anderson and Stuart Broad to create the world's most potent pace attack.
Next year will prove a huge test with the visit of the Saffers, who will doubtless be a trickier opposition than the Indians were. They too have a balanced, experienced side, with the added bonus of Dale Steyn, the pound-for-pound best fast bowler in the world, who hugely enjoyed himself here when he visited last time around. It's going to be tasty.
Let-Down of the Year
India
They were rubbish, weren't they? Lacklustre in the field, listless and impatient with the bat, inaccurate with the ball. All the hype, all the talk about when Sachin was going to make ton number 100, all the build up after their World Cup win, amounted to diddly squat given that they showed a complete inability to adapt to remotely challenging conditions outside their homeland. A couple of players came out with some credit, but for most it seemed like they couldn't be less interested in a test series in England. Good riddance to them. Oh and good luck in Australia too, I reckon you'll need it.
Hero of the Year
Rahul Dravid
Which makes, in light of the above, Rahul Dravid's efforts all the more admirable. Dravid is the consumate batsman, a true gentleman, and an all round good egg. Surrounded by mediocrity, his visit to England was still a hugely impressive one, and only Ian Bell and Kevin Pietersen compiled more runs in that largely one-sided series. Even at 38, Dravid's technique is still a thing of beauty to behold; His immaculate defence; his shot selection of surgical precision; his tenacity and mental strength that have been a hallmark of his long stays at the crease for the best part of 20 years.
Dravid is, at the time of writing, the leading run scorer in test cricket this year. Yet this is also a poignant point because it also feels like he, alongside Sachin Tendulkar and VVS Laxman, is part of a dying breed - an Indian batsman that cares about the long form of the game. The BCCI seems so determined to pander to the Corporate shills and stamp out test cricket that we may not see the likes of him again for many years. At 38, Dravid surely does not have too many more long batting vigils left in him, but he leaves behind a significant and hugely admirable legacy.
Match of the Year
India vs England, Bangalore, ICC Cricket World Cup February 27
Oh alright, I suppose I have to pay due tributes to limited overs cricket at some point. Yes, this one was a real cracker, the type of match that isn't produced nearly often enough by ODI's. The hosts, and eventual winners, set England the commanding and intimidating 339 winning score, thanks largely to the little Master's sensational run-a-ball 120. Captain Andrew Strauss then produced a quite magnificent century in response - his first in ODI's - to guide the England chase to a thrilling and quite remarkable conclusion, aided and abetted by some tremendous lower order hitting and a hugely important (but rather overlooked) chanceless 69 from Ian Bell. Swann and Shahzad tied the game and in the process seemed also to revive the hitherto flagging 50-over concept.
Who on earth his he? of the Year
Kevin O'Brien
5 days later, England were beaten by Ireland, as a big ginger lad who no-one had ever heard of scored the fastest world cup century ever to humiliate a team previously buoyant from tieing with the hosts. O'Brien cracked 13 boundaries and six maximums in an extraordinary display of brute force which England's bowlers had no answer to. This set the wheels in motion for England's exit from the tournament at the hands of perennial no-hopers Bangladesh.
Since that heady night in March, O'Brien has intermittently shown the ability to repeat his heroics but one can't help but wonder he'll never be able to meet the expectations to produce on a consistent basis. Still, it was one hell of a knock and one hell of a way to put yourself in cricket folklore and the history books.
Conman of the Year
I couldn't very well do a review of 2011 without referring to the bizarre and hilarious case of Adrian Shankar, the Cambridge graduate who was released by Worcestershire in May after they discovered he had somewhat 'inflated' his talents; claiming variously to have played academy football with Arsenal, to be the most talented batsman a Cambridge UCCE coach had ever seen (a completely made up quote); and also to have spent three years of his life on a life support machine in a conversation with then Lancashire captain Luke Sutton.
How counties kept being fooled by Shankar, who failed to score runs at virtually any of the premier league cricket clubs, Minor Counties or First Class counties he played for, is quite bizarre. Shankar was clearly a fantasist, a con artist with a talent for blagging his way to a County contract. It proved a cautionary tale for Worcestershire as they called Inspector Knacker in to investigate possible fraud charges.
Villains of the Year
The ICC and all cricket governing bodies
For thinking, in no particular order:
- That holding a South Africa - Australia test series of just two tests is sufficient
- For continuing to make generally moronic scheduling decisions
- For not doing away with the pointless and idiotic Champions Trophy
- For still not really showing any genuine signs of a concerted effort to fight the (still obviously underlying) threat and menance of Corruption in the game.
Quote of the Year
"'Take a bit of beer and manure and rub it on your forehead''
Jacques Kallis explains how you too could miraculously obtain a luscious head of hair where previously you possessed an obviously thinning presence up top
Overrated One-Day Show Pony of the Year
Kieron Pollard
Winner of this award for presumably as long as he continues to waste his and indeed our time in international cricket, Kieron Pollard is basically a T20 specialist who likes to give it a smack and bowls military medium. Nothing special in that, and yet he continues to get job offers, even though he has never batted more than 66 balls in a One Day International.
Board Spat of the Year
Jointly won by Chris Gayle and Ramnaresh Sarwan
While Gayle travels the world as a T20 mercenary, Sarwan, arguably one of the most elegant and skilfull West Indian batsmen of his generation, hides away in domestic cricket as a result of a dispute with the WICB. And we think that's a shame.
Best laugh of the year
Seeing Phil Hughes get out 'c Guptill b Martin' again and again. What a clown.
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