Big Brass Balls and Backing Up Your Words

We've not been paying a great deal of attention to the laughably named Big Bash, what with it not being shown in the UK, but two things caught our attention this week.

The first is the old master, Shane Warne. Looking younger every day, and with brighter, whiter teeth than ever thought possible, he was on the mic whilst bowling to t20 maestro Brendon McCullum. "What you gonna bowl him Shane?" asks the commentator. What happened next? Run VT:

Meanwhile, there are a few England players down there. One is Jade Dernbach, not a player we've seen anything of the international in as yet. And he's backed that assertion up with a whacking great no wickets for 80 in 8 overs in his two matches to date, but despite that return, he seems keen to let the batsmen know what for. David Warner took to Twitter after seeing Dernbach dish some verbals out. "Dernbach should worry about bowling before trying to sledge". Wise words. The Aussies might be in something of a slump when it comes to batting, bowling and fielding, but when it comes to sledging, they are still the undisputed masters and Warner's words are well listened to.

Bowling to the pugnacious David Warner

"Right. Full, straight, middle stump".
Run in. Bowl.
THWACK!
Long on watches as it disappears over his head and into the stand.
"Bugger".

"OK. I'll bounce the little twat".
Run in. Bowl.
THWONK!
Switch-hit pull in front of square disappears over what was cover into the stand.
"Bugger".

"Right, you annoying turd. You'll not see this slower ball coming".
Run in. Bowl.
POWERSPLAT!
It sails over backward point and keeps going, into the second tier.
"Bugger".

"Alright, alright. Back of the hand, pitch on, straighten up, lbw. See how you like these apples".
Run in. Bowl.
KERBLAMMO!
Umpire takes evasive action as it goes flat and hard, straight into the sightscreen.
"Bugger".

"Split-fingered grip. He won't have seen too much of that".
Run in. Bowl.
BOOOOOOOM!
Local air traffic control report sighting of small white object affecting their equipment.
"Bugger".

"Do you know what? Fuck it. Round the wicket, pitch it up, cramp him for room".
Run in. Bowl.
SMASHEROO!
Full toss on his pads, deposited over the dancing girls and into a disbelieving row 23.
"Bugger".