Big Brass Balls and Backing Up Your Words

We've not been paying a great deal of attention to the laughably named Big Bash, what with it not being shown in the UK, but two things caught our attention this week.

The first is the old master, Shane Warne. Looking younger every day, and with brighter, whiter teeth than ever thought possible, he was on the mic whilst bowling to t20 maestro Brendon McCullum. "What you gonna bowl him Shane?" asks the commentator. What happened next? Run VT:

Meanwhile, there are a few England players down there. One is Jade Dernbach, not a player we've seen anything of the international in as yet. And he's backed that assertion up with a whacking great no wickets for 80 in 8 overs in his two matches to date, but despite that return, he seems keen to let the batsmen know what for. David Warner took to Twitter after seeing Dernbach dish some verbals out. "Dernbach should worry about bowling before trying to sledge". Wise words. The Aussies might be in something of a slump when it comes to batting, bowling and fielding, but when it comes to sledging, they are still the undisputed masters and Warner's words are well listened to.

On Warney's retirement

An era ended today with the retirement of the legend that is Shane Warne. There is literally nothing left to say about the man. Over the years, it's all been said, written and translated into interpretive dance so rather than go over well worn ground, the Tasty Morkels team are off out on a celebratory Warney night.

There will be beer.
There will be barbecued meat.
There will be a teeth-whitening session.
And botox.
And more beer.
Our receding hairlines will get the attention they have long deserved.
We will try to cop off with an actress of whose films we can maybe name one. Two at the outside.
There will be prank phone calls to Mike Gatting in the early hours.
And the morning after, we'll be taking diuretic pills to try and shift the pounds that we'll inevitably have gained as a result of it all.



His legend leaves plenty of room for scope, but before we embark on our mission, in this clip, three minutes in, you will see his real ball of the century. Hugh Jackman losing his middle stump:



"Don't rub 'em. Count 'em"

Warne, Shane

Australian swordsman who was the leading Test wicket taker until taken over by Muttiah Muralitharan. Bit short on top, needed the help of Advanced Hair Studios.