We have arranged for exclusive extracts from Stuart Broad's diaries to be passed to us by a shadowy intermediary so we can share them here with you, dear reader. Here's the first missive.
Thursday.
Cooky came in and said he'd lost the toss and would bowl. I asked if he was sure he'd lost it and whether he'd considered reviewing it, but he seemed content enough.
So we bowled today. This was very exciting. You see, the regulations have changed to allow two shoulder-high balls per over. I piled loads of short balls down as fast as I could, but for some bizarre reason it didn't work. I mean, I tried everything: glaring at the umpire, glaring at Cooky, glaring at Michael Atherton, glaring at some guy in the crowd who called me 'benchod'.... nothing.
Second spell was just as futile. Tried reviewing a couple of decisions when the batsman got the bat within an inch of the ball, but Cooky didn't seem to fancy it. I got to use the second new ball late on and got one to move away and brush the edge. Again, nothing. Glared at the ground staff, but that was the end of things for today. It was nice to see Yuvraj though. He said something about 'Durban' to me, but I just glared at him. That showed him.
Bobbed out after dinner for a look round Ahmedabad. The tuk-tuk driver was really taking the piss with his fare. Tried reviewing it, but he told me to stop being such a massive pillock and pay up. Glared at him. I think I won that exchange.
So back out there tomorrow and we need early wickets. I'll have a quick net in the morning to sharpen up my short ball. It's a surefire means of success, you mark my words.
Showing posts with label UDRS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UDRS. Show all posts
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Friday, 3 February 2012
Letters to my late father #1
Hi Dad.
You'd have liked this. Proper, attritional Test cricket. There's something there for the bowlers, which would be new to you, or at least a throwback. Moreover, bowlers are being rewarded, far more than you were used to before... well, y'know.
You'd probably have hated the DRS when it was first mooted. My fear too was that it would undermine the on-field umpire, but after a few teething troubles, it's pretty much won me over. I dare say that the BCCI's intransigence on this has emboldened my stance, but I'd have to consider myself pro-DRS now whatever the reasons. It's definitely had an effect on umpires and what they will and will not give out. TV evidence has shown that things they'd never give previously are indeed as out as you and I always suspected they were. No longer can you get away with plonking your front pad five feet down the track and expect to get away with it.
The art of spinning the ball is back with a vengeance as a result. So is the art of reading it, out of the hand and off the wicket. For all England are ranked number one in the world - no I'm not kidding - there's an alarming lack of ability to read spin. Ian Bell looks absolutely clueless and Kevin Pietersen is trying his usual approach of trying to hit the slow bowlers into submission. Predictably, it rarely works.
203 for 16 today. Just like three-day county games on uncovered pitches. You'd have bloody loved it. Well, right up until England sent out a nightwatchman to protect their number eight batsman. That, beyond all the batting incomptences, made me really bloody angry.
BACKGROUND: My dad died just over three years ago. He brought me up on cricket and we'd spend hours watching it together. Good times. When I moved away, we'd still chew the cud over the day's play and when cricket moved onto Sky, I'd call him at lunch, tea and/or close to relate what had happened. The first England Test after he died, I found myself reaching for the phone to call him. I was half way through dialling when I remembered he wouldn't be there. I still find myself doing it now. Instead, I'm going to start writing him these letters.
You'd have liked this. Proper, attritional Test cricket. There's something there for the bowlers, which would be new to you, or at least a throwback. Moreover, bowlers are being rewarded, far more than you were used to before... well, y'know.
You'd probably have hated the DRS when it was first mooted. My fear too was that it would undermine the on-field umpire, but after a few teething troubles, it's pretty much won me over. I dare say that the BCCI's intransigence on this has emboldened my stance, but I'd have to consider myself pro-DRS now whatever the reasons. It's definitely had an effect on umpires and what they will and will not give out. TV evidence has shown that things they'd never give previously are indeed as out as you and I always suspected they were. No longer can you get away with plonking your front pad five feet down the track and expect to get away with it.
The art of spinning the ball is back with a vengeance as a result. So is the art of reading it, out of the hand and off the wicket. For all England are ranked number one in the world - no I'm not kidding - there's an alarming lack of ability to read spin. Ian Bell looks absolutely clueless and Kevin Pietersen is trying his usual approach of trying to hit the slow bowlers into submission. Predictably, it rarely works.
203 for 16 today. Just like three-day county games on uncovered pitches. You'd have bloody loved it. Well, right up until England sent out a nightwatchman to protect their number eight batsman. That, beyond all the batting incomptences, made me really bloody angry.
BACKGROUND: My dad died just over three years ago. He brought me up on cricket and we'd spend hours watching it together. Good times. When I moved away, we'd still chew the cud over the day's play and when cricket moved onto Sky, I'd call him at lunch, tea and/or close to relate what had happened. The first England Test after he died, I found myself reaching for the phone to call him. I was half way through dialling when I remembered he wouldn't be there. I still find myself doing it now. Instead, I'm going to start writing him these letters.
Sunday, 3 April 2011
World Cup 14 best
Finally we're done and can relax for a bit. But before the IPL starts and the County Championship get underway, here we pick our top 14 World Cup snippets in honour of the last time such a number will appear in the tournament, at least until the ICC pull their collective head out of their collective arse.
14. Best associate
Despite the miserable performances of Canada and Kenya, the other smaller nations were pretty entertaining, especially the Irish who take the nod here for being at worst competitive in every game they played. To get rid smacks of short-termism and a lack of awareness of the game outside it's established centres. To bar the likes of Afghanistan from the tournament is to it's long-term discredit.
13. Shot of the tournament
Step forward 19-year old Hiral Patel.
12. Most sustained assault on a decent bowler
Aided by some miserable leg-stump full tosses, admittedly, but Ross Taylor going absolutely batshit insane against Pakistan was truly astonishing. Also, it only came after our...
11. Best birthday gift
When he was put down twice before he'd made 10 in that innings.
10. Most ridiculous use of the UDRS
This was out. So was this.
9. Best batsman
Virender Sehwag was, as usual, the most exciting, Sachin Tendulkar his usual imperious self, AB de Villiers all dreamy shots around the ground and Jonathan Trott a reliable grinder. And while Tilakaratne Dilshan topped the list with 500 runs, his team-mate and captain Kumar Sangakkara's chanceless 465 at an average of 93 was pure class and he's the one we'd get out of bed at stupid o'clock to watch.
8. Best bowler
Ahead of the semi-final, this writer was heard to comment to a friend of Indian extraction that he fancied Pakistan as they had the better bowlers - Umar Gul and Shahid Afridi. In the end, Zaheer Khan outdid them both and shone in the final to nick the award. Kemar Roach deserves mention too - proper old-fashioned West Indian quick. We hope there are more like him back in the Caribbean.
7. Player of the tournament
Plenty of nominees. Sachin was brilliant, Sehwag explosive, de Villiers all class, Umar Gul, Shahid Afridi and Zaheer Khan all unplayable, Tilakaratne Dilshan and Yuvraj Singh stellar with bat and ball, but we go for Peter Borren because if we don't, he will probably kill us.
6. Most ridiculous scapegoat
Jonathan Trott must have upset Bob Willis in other ways than being an extremely reliable run-scorer to have two 50-plus scores labelled "match-losing innings" by the former England fast bowler turned professional curmudgeon.
5. Best game
It had to be one featuring excitement merchants England. The heart-stopping tie with India swung one way and back the other about five different time during 100 overs. Best game of 50-over cricket? Quite probably, yes.
4. Biggest England implosion
A category with plenty of contenders - the loss to Ireland, to Bangladesh, the stumble against the Dutch - but the clear winner was the sight of eleven hollow shells of men who had been on the road for over six months have their pants pulled down by Sri Lanka. Which leads nicely on to...
3. Most career-defining knock
In the space of 50 balls, Kevin O'Brien made himself a potentially quite rich man, wrote his legend into the history books and helped his country defeat their former colonial overlords with an amazing display of controlled brutality.
2. Best wind-up merchant
Kyle Mills, twelfth man for New Zealand, who came onto the field with the sole intention of letting Faf du Plessis know what he thought of the AB de Villiers run out. And that's a lovely segué to....
1. Biggest choke
Sorry South Africa, but it really was a choke of epic proportions.
And we're done. We can't believe it'll be a whole six days when we get to watch another cricket match - the IPL starts on Friday. The schedulers really need to make sure these enormous hiatuses don't happen like this in the future. Here's hoping the ICC see sense before the next tournament in Australia and New Zealand in four years time and don't exclude the associates and we can enjoy another extravaganza because, for all it's faults, this has been a pretty damn fine tournament.
14. Best associate
Despite the miserable performances of Canada and Kenya, the other smaller nations were pretty entertaining, especially the Irish who take the nod here for being at worst competitive in every game they played. To get rid smacks of short-termism and a lack of awareness of the game outside it's established centres. To bar the likes of Afghanistan from the tournament is to it's long-term discredit.
13. Shot of the tournament
Step forward 19-year old Hiral Patel.
12. Most sustained assault on a decent bowler
Aided by some miserable leg-stump full tosses, admittedly, but Ross Taylor going absolutely batshit insane against Pakistan was truly astonishing. Also, it only came after our...
11. Best birthday gift
When he was put down twice before he'd made 10 in that innings.
10. Most ridiculous use of the UDRS
This was out. So was this.
9. Best batsman
Virender Sehwag was, as usual, the most exciting, Sachin Tendulkar his usual imperious self, AB de Villiers all dreamy shots around the ground and Jonathan Trott a reliable grinder. And while Tilakaratne Dilshan topped the list with 500 runs, his team-mate and captain Kumar Sangakkara's chanceless 465 at an average of 93 was pure class and he's the one we'd get out of bed at stupid o'clock to watch.
8. Best bowler
Ahead of the semi-final, this writer was heard to comment to a friend of Indian extraction that he fancied Pakistan as they had the better bowlers - Umar Gul and Shahid Afridi. In the end, Zaheer Khan outdid them both and shone in the final to nick the award. Kemar Roach deserves mention too - proper old-fashioned West Indian quick. We hope there are more like him back in the Caribbean.
7. Player of the tournament
Plenty of nominees. Sachin was brilliant, Sehwag explosive, de Villiers all class, Umar Gul, Shahid Afridi and Zaheer Khan all unplayable, Tilakaratne Dilshan and Yuvraj Singh stellar with bat and ball, but we go for Peter Borren because if we don't, he will probably kill us.
6. Most ridiculous scapegoat
Jonathan Trott must have upset Bob Willis in other ways than being an extremely reliable run-scorer to have two 50-plus scores labelled "match-losing innings" by the former England fast bowler turned professional curmudgeon.
5. Best game
It had to be one featuring excitement merchants England. The heart-stopping tie with India swung one way and back the other about five different time during 100 overs. Best game of 50-over cricket? Quite probably, yes.
4. Biggest England implosion
A category with plenty of contenders - the loss to Ireland, to Bangladesh, the stumble against the Dutch - but the clear winner was the sight of eleven hollow shells of men who had been on the road for over six months have their pants pulled down by Sri Lanka. Which leads nicely on to...
3. Most career-defining knock
In the space of 50 balls, Kevin O'Brien made himself a potentially quite rich man, wrote his legend into the history books and helped his country defeat their former colonial overlords with an amazing display of controlled brutality.
2. Best wind-up merchant
Kyle Mills, twelfth man for New Zealand, who came onto the field with the sole intention of letting Faf du Plessis know what he thought of the AB de Villiers run out. And that's a lovely segué to....
1. Biggest choke
Sorry South Africa, but it really was a choke of epic proportions.
And we're done. We can't believe it'll be a whole six days when we get to watch another cricket match - the IPL starts on Friday. The schedulers really need to make sure these enormous hiatuses don't happen like this in the future. Here's hoping the ICC see sense before the next tournament in Australia and New Zealand in four years time and don't exclude the associates and we can enjoy another extravaganza because, for all it's faults, this has been a pretty damn fine tournament.
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
UDRS
Umpire Decision Review System. Systematic attempt by the powers that be to undermine every umpire who ever walked the planet by not only allowing, but actively encouraging players to openly dissent against your decisions. It seems it's here to stay. If you're a captain and the wicketkeeper is the only one suggesting you review a decision, probably best not to.
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